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- Title
OUR ISOLATION.
- Authors
Walters, Shelby
- Abstract
The pain and fear I felt growing up with a disability has made me feel like I must isolate myself from society. As soon as someone found out that I had a learning disability and a language impairment, I no longer belonged. My disability came before who I was as a person. It was easier to isolate myself because then I wouldn't get a look of confusion when I tried to communicate with others. I didn't participate in certain activities like swimming because I learned from an early experience I would need more specialized instruction with my teachers. I don't like asking for help because when I do, I am visibly uncomfortable. It hurts because sometimes people just don't understand me. I ask myself, "Why can't I be like others and have a normal conversation?" I avoid situations so I don't have to talk or make eye contact. Sometimes, I isolate myself because it's just easier. In my photos, I seek to capture both the comfort of inclusion and the loneliness that comes from not being normal. I have been working on a photography project at Champion Athletes of the Ozarks, an organization for children and adults with disabilities. Throughout my time working on this project, I photographed many of the activities in which they participate. Some of these included basketball, soccer, softball, running, and swimming. During my first day photographing this organization, I photographed everyone swimming. The photos I captured from those two sessions are the images that stirred the most emotions within me. Looking at those photos and capturing these moments brought me back to my childhood when I took swimming lessons. I loved the relationships these individuals had developed with the volunteers. The athletes overcame their fears by putting their trust in the volunteers. This organization allows them to participate in sport activities that they might not be able to do in other settings. This series of photographs has been very therapeutic for me. At first, I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this type of project. At the time, I was refusing to photograph people as my subjects. I had developed social anxiety and couldn't bring myself to take this step. As my final senior project, I wanted to do something that would help me grow. During my first day with this group, they were swimming. I had only met the organization leader, but I went out there and I photographed candid shots. In doing so, I finally felt like I belonged. A year later, I had a selection of photographs that included swimming, basketball, soccer, and golfing. When it came time to select photos for my senior project, all of the pictures I chose came from the swimming sessions. One of my photography friends said to me, "Shelby, these are beautiful, but what makes them even more beautiful is that this was your very first day. You knew no one, but you went out there and just did it.".
- Subjects
LONELINESS; SOCIAL integration; SWIMMING training; SOCIAL anxiety; SOFTBALL
- Publication
LOGOS: A Journal of Undergraduate Research, 2018, Vol 11, p80
- ISSN
2153-1560
- Publication type
Article